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Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.

all that high calorie junk food has made you guys slow. 
....pipped you to the post already, see ? 

And exactly where have you been? I've been looking for you, wanting to let you win, but you weren't there. So I decided to take the prize myself. You're stuck with an old post. Enjoy.

Research indicates that it is possible to be both slow and happy.

...heard of the old tortoise/ rabbit tale ?  :) 
it's the slow and steady who spins the tales!

What a true friend you are, to get between me and a bullet. I'll be sure to buy you a nice headstone with my winnings.

Hmm, I think your okay just got corralled! Still alive and kicking.

You'll use none of that kar-rar-tay kicking on me, good sir!

Jousting requires that both parties have pointed sticks. Where is yours?

I hope you're not being crude. I don't like crude. No, I don't want to find out. I have no interest in the loser's armory - even their leggery. No, we winners are self-centered and complacent.

No, I'm not being rude. Just challenging. Have at thee, varlet!

I have a complimentary box of runner-up milk tray for you. Please - help yourself.

Ah, they are saying wonderful things about me. How sweet. And that was your only prize. You are a generous little moth, aren't you?

Oh, thank you, but the box is yours. I can afford to be generous as I have the Prize.

I'm afraid there's no room for your egg-and-spoon race here.